Silence Of My Heartbeat
by emilxy
Summary: Ashlyn moved to Sweet Amoris after she was released from her orphanage. She now lives in an apartment and has a Part-time job in a music store. Its still summer and she is waiting for her senior year to start in Sweet Amoris High School. Along the way she meets Castiel. Did she ask for it? No. Does she regret meeting him? Hell no.
1. Who's He?

**PROLOGUE **

My name is Ashlyn Alice Winters I moved to Sweet amoris the summer before my senior year. My parents however are non-existent in my life. I was an orphan, I just turned 18 and thats when I became a legal adult. They gave me enough money to live on for the next ten years. Which is plenty of time to get a good, stable job. But for now I need to go to school and get a part-time job. They provided me an apartment in the city of my choice. I chose the town I was born in. I wanted to see who I would have grown up with and what my life would have been like. It said on my release papers that I was born in a small town called Sweet Amoris. And now I'm sitting in my apartment ready for my first part-time job in a music store near the high school I will be attending. Well, Here goes nothing...

**CHAPTER 1**

I walked down the cracked sidewalk towards the building I will be working in. The store was called 'Notes' It was filled with everything music related. I enjoyed it very much considering my love for playing instruments and just music in general. Back at the orphanage we had to pick certain talents that we wanted to master. That was mine. Music, instruments and singing I did everything I could to learn about music. So hopefully this job wouldn't be so bad. As I reached my workplace I happily opened the doors and walked to the managers office.

"Glad to see you got here safely, Heres your name tag. You can start your work now." She said while handing me my name tag. I gave her a nod and walked to the register.

Luckily there was music playing from the loud-speaker so I wouldn't have to sit in silence when I was alone. But to my advantage two teenage boys walked through the door and went straight to where the guitars were hanging. They both had interesting appearances but I couldn't see them that well and would wait until they came to the register. They started talking and I listened in just because I was bored.

"Summer is almost over and I need a new guitar, The one I have is old and is harder to work with now. Lysander, Where are we playing next?" the red-head said.

"The first week of school that friday night." the supposedly Lysander said.

"God, senior year. Im surprised we made it. And I'm also surprised that you remembered when we were going to play." the red-head said.

"Save it Castiel." the other boy said. while the red-head picked a guitar and turned around. They both walked in my direction. He showed me the guitar and I typed its product number into the register. While the red-head named Castiel fiddled with his wallet.

Castiel, he had blood red hair with sharp grey eyes and wore a permanent scowl on his face. And he dressed like a punk rocker. He wore a red T-shirt with a band that I loved on it, And a leather jacket over it. He also had on black jeans and combat boots. The other boy Lysander Had silver hair with black tips. Then I noticed his eyes, they were mismatched one was a gold color the other was teal. And he wore clothing that looked like It came out of an England history book more specifically the Victorian Era.

The red-head noticed I was in a daze and snapped his fingers in my face.

"Hello? Earth to worker?" The red-head said. I snapped out of my trance and looked back at the boys.

"Sorry. Your total Is $430.45. By the way I like your shirt." I said.

"Where did you learn that line? Polite workers handbook?" He asked cockily.

"The band Winged Skulls is my favorite band, jerk." I said. But when I realized what I had said. I put my hand over my mouth. _Well great job Ashlyn! Being rude to customers is always a great way to start the day! And a great way to get yourself fired! _I thought to myself.

"Feisty Aren't we? Don't worry I wont tell you manager. Is this your first day? I haven't seen you around here before." Castiel said.

"Not that it's any of your business but yes it is." I said.

"Well okay then. See you later flat chest." He said while handing me the money. My eyes widened in shock.

"Do you always have to push peoples buttons?' Lysander said while they were walking away.

"It's what I do." Castiel said. And then they walked out.

"That asshole!" I whisper/shouted.

"What was that Miss Winters?" I heard my manager say.

"Uhh W-What? I didnt say anything!" I said nervously.

"Look its Fine thats Castiel Hunter he is a regular everyone that works here knows him. He messes with all of the workers, so dont be offended. And his friend he had with him is also a regular. They are in a band with two others. You may have heard of them they are called _'Under a Silence'." _My manager said.

"Yeah! I love their music! They aren't very well known but they are very popular here!" I said.

"You are correct. Now get back to work. Have a nice day! Lock up for me will you?" She said while handing me the keys.

"Sure. What time does the store close again?" I asked.

"It closes at 9:00 six hours from now. Well have a great night!" She said while walking out the door.

I sighed to myself knowing it would be a looong day.

**AFTER WORK**

When I locked the doors to the store I realized just how tired I was. My feet ached from standing around all day. And my face hurt from forcing a smile so much. How was I going to manage this with school? Whatever Ill figure that out later. When I walked down the unfamiliar path I heard noises like nails clicking against the concrete. A couple of seconds later A large brown dog walked up to me and sat down blocking my path. I leaned down and scratched his ears.

"Where is your owner?" I asked sheepishly.

"DEMON!" I heard a loud voice say. I jumped at the harsh tone in the mans voice. Once the person came into full view I recognized him as the boy from earlier today, Castiel.

"Lost someone?" I asked with a mocking tone.

"Shut it flat chest I'm not in the mood." Castiel said rudely.

"Im sure that is no way to talk to a lady." I said sarcastically.

"You're a girl?" He asked.

"What they fuck!?" I said.

"Im just kidding calm your tits. Well, if you had any." Castiel said.

"Can you stop making fun of my breasts pervert!" I said.

"Geez take a joke. Whats your name?" He said.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I said.

"Fine. dont tell me, Ashlyn." Castiel said.

"W-What?" I asked.

"Your name tag Idiot, you still have it on." Castiel said.

"Whatever, What are you doing outside this late? Usually assholes are in bed by now." I said while laughing hysterically.

"Rebellious too? Wow, what a wannabee. But if you must know I was walking my dog, demon." Castiel said.

"Look I'd love to stand here and keep insulting each other but I have to go. See you later Cas." I said walking away. Once I reached My apartment I changed and plopped myself on my bed and instantly fell asleep.

**YAAYYYY First chapter done. Please leave comments or criticism i'd**** love to hear what you think! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! **


	2. Don't Mention It

The alarm blared and I shot upwards, the alarm had startled me. I was glad I didn't have work today, but I still needed to run errands. I shook off my tired state and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. Once I was done I threw on shorts and a red t-shirt. I then dried and brushed my waist-length blonde hair. Then I applied eyeliner and mascara around my bright blue eyes. I took one last look in the mirror and rushed to the kitchen to grab a piece of toast. I put the bread in the toaster and then pulled on my worn black converse. The bread popped out of the toaster making me jump. I took it from the machine and ate it quickly. I then grabbed my purse and my phone (that I had recently bought). I walked out the door, locked it and hopped in the nice car the orphanage bought for me. And took off to the grocery store.

When I arrived at the store there were kids running around,worried parents, bored teens and tired workers. It was chaotic. Just to amuse myself I counted all the kids that were whining to their parents about an Item they wanted, Is that cruel? Whatever, who cares. I walked through the aisles while holding onto my shopping list tightly. I grabbed the things I needed and other things that I wanted. All while playing my cruel little game. Once I was done with my shopping I walked up to the busy cashier who was sweating and looked tired. But she scanned my items anyway. I handed her the money while counting my last whining kid. 32 was My finishing number. I walked out into the sea of cars and tried to find mine. Once I found it I stuffed the groceries in the trunk and drove home.

I walked up to my apartment door and fiddled with my purse looking for my key. But couldn't find it.

"Shit." I muttered to myself. Out of all the things I could forget. I fiddled with the door handle and shuttered it. With my little tantrum I kicked the door really, really hard.

"Fuck! That hurt!" I shouted.

"What was that?" Someone said. I turned to see who it was, _castiel..._ I thought.

"Are you stalking me or something?" I said.

"You wish." Castiel said laughing.

"Whatever, What are you doing here anyway?" I asked.

"I live here." He said flatly.

"Oh, me too." I said quietly. I put my back up against the door and sat down.

"So, Why were you kicking the door?" Castiel asked.

"I left my keys inside and locked my door." I said.

"So you kicked the door? What did it ever do to you?" Castiel said while laughing.

"I was angry okay!" I said defensively.

"I know I could tell." He said.

"If your just going to sit here and insult me then get lost!" I shouted. I pulled my knees up to my chest and set my head down.

_Just when I thought things were going good, now the food is going to spoil and I don't have a place to sleep tonight! _I thought

"Hey ashlyn, I-Im sorry, I thought you could use a laugh. You can stay at my place If you want." Castiel said slowly.

"I barely even know you!" I said.

"I can't just let you sleep outside." He said.

"Since when are you a gentlemen?" I asked.

"Im in a good mood today." He said.

"You? In a good mood?" I asked

"On the rare occasion." Castiel said while holding his hand out to me. I took It and stood up.

"Thank you." I said.

"It's Fine." Castiel said

He walked to the door next to mine while I picked up the groceries on the ground. I walked inside his apartment. It was much bigger than mine. It was very nice. I set the groceries on what I assumed was the kitchen counter.

"Im going to go see If my balcony is unlocked." I said while rushing over to his back door.

"Okay." Castiel responded.

I opened the sliding door and grabbed onto the railing of his balcony. I threw my leg over, then the other and stood on the railing. I jumped over the space between mine and his and crashed onto the concrete ground. It hurt but I got up anyway. I tried to open the door but It was also locked. I groaned. I got on top of my railing and jumped back to the other side. But this time I landed it Castiels arms standing upright. Still shocked, I backed away and tripped on the edge of the railing. My hand was grabbed just after my feet lifted off the ground. And I was pulled back onto the ground.

"Thank you." I said.

"Don't mention it, It take it that the back door is also locked."

"Yea, Im sorry." I said.

"Don't be, It happens to everyone at some point." Castiel said.

"Thanks Again, It really means a lot." I said.

"Like I said, Don't mention it." Castiel said. Thats when I realized we were still very close to eachother. I quickly backed away.

"Uhh, I'm gonna put the groceries away so they don't go bad." I said nervously.

I left castiel on the balcony and walked to the kitchen. I put away the groceries while singing a tune that was stuck in my head. Once I was done I saw a guitar over in the corner and walked over to play the tune. I picked up the red guitar and strummed the chords while singing.

_Living in a world so cold, wasting away._

_Where have you been? Oh how Ive missed you._

_Ive been counting the days since you've been gone._

_Please don't leave again, I don't know If I can take it._

_But again promises are meant to be broken._

_Now I'm left behind._

_And now I'm losing my mind._

_I begged you to stay._

_For my own sanity._

_Look where I am now._

_Sad and lost with nowhere to turn._

_Please come back._

_I need you here._

_I know you'll leave again._

_But temporary happiness is better than nothing._

_So please come back, the cold is getting harder and harder to bear._

_Please come home._

I strummed the last chord and was pleased with what I had come up with but It needed work.

"Whos that about?" Castiel said.

"Castiel! I thought you were outside." I said.

"I was, Until I heard you singing. You are really good. Maybe even better than Lysander." Castiel said.

"Really? Who is that?" I asked

"Do you remember the guy with me at the store the first time we met?" Castiel asked. I nodded.

"Thats him. Hes the singer of the band I'm in." Castiel explained.

"Oh cool." I said flatly.

"But seriously who is that about?" Castiel asked.

"Look, there are some things I can't tell you yet. I just met you. Im sorry." I said.

"Its Fine, Everyone has their secrets Ashlyn, Some are bigger than others.


	3. An Almost Kiss

Somewhere in the afternoon I called the apartment offices to ask them to make me another key. They said they could have it by tomorrow morning so that meant I was still a guest at Castiel Resorts. He didn't mind and neither did I. It was later in the night and we were watching tv. We couldn't go to sleep.

"So do you live alone?" I asked quietly.

"Yea, my parents are pilots and are barely home so they gave me an apartment for me and Demon. What about you? Where are your parents?" Castiel responded.

"I live alone. I honestly don't know where my parents are. They could be dead for all I know, I'm an orphan." I said. I was waiting for him to pity me like everyone else did. and that bothered me. I hated it when people would do that.

"Well at least you don't have to live in the orphanage anymore." Castiel said. I admired that he did not take pity to me.

"Thats who the song was about wasn't it?" Castiel added.

"I never met them, but I like to think I do. It gives me something to hold on to." I said.

"You shouldn't hold onto hope, Its dangerous. You could end up getting hurt." Castiel said.

"I learned that the hard way." I stated while turning to look at him.

"How?" Castiel asked.

"I fell in love." I said simply. I got up and walked out to the balcony, Castiel followed.

"Me too." Castiel said while pulling out a cigarette from a small box.

"You smoke?" I asked

"What do you think?" Castiel said jokingly.

"Shut up..." I said

"Ever tried to quit?" I added while turning to him.

"Never had a reason to." Castiel said flatly not looking at me.

"Dying isn't a good enough reason?" I asked.

"Im not afraid of death unlike most people." Castiel said. I agreed with him.

"Me neither. I always thought that It was going to happen weather I like it or not so might as well face it." I explained.

"I saw it that way too." He said turning to me. He flashed me a smile, not a smirk an actual, genuine smile. It shot warmth throughout my body making my face heat up. A silence fell between us. The warm summer nights air flowed between us. I broke the silence.

"How long have you played guitar?" I asked.

"I saw a man playing an electric guitar on my tv and I begged my dad to buy me one or put me in classes. So for my 8th birthday my father enrolled me in a class every day after school for and hour and a half. I remember how right it felt in my hands. I instantly fell in love. Ive been playing ever since. What about you?" He explained. The whole time he was explaining it I saw stars in his eyes.

"In the orphanage we had to choose a talent. When I turned 10 I chose music. I can play almost any instrument Now. I can sing too. I remember hearing a quiet singing voice when I was very little, I was always fascinated that I remembered such a thing. I guess I always secretly hoped It was my mom. I thought If I learned how to do that, then somehow I would be closer to my parents. So I think thats why I chose it but now I play for me not them." I explained.

"I understand." Castiel said.

"Most people don't." I said.

"Im not like most people." Castiel said turning to me.

"I can tell." I said smiling at him.

He leaned in a little closer to me. I stared into his eyes his cold, hard, thunderstorm eyes stared at me. I mimicked his move and leaned in just a little closer. I saw his eyes close. I closed mine as well. I felt his hand wrap around my back slowly. our noses were touching. Millimeters away from each other. Unsure of what to do I wrapped my arms around his neck, sure of what would happen next...

RRRIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG his phone went off and we quickly jumped away from each other, as if it never happened.

He quickly pulled his phone out and answered it.

"I'm going to go to bed." I said quietly to him. he covered the phone speaker and responded.

"Take my bed, I'll sleep on the couch."

"Thank you." I said nicely. he nodded his head in recognition and turned back to his conversation.

I walked to the only door I hadn't been in yet. I walked in to find a slightly messy bedroom with scattered posters everywhere. It looked like a normal teenage boy's room. I giggled. I saw a small box overflowing with guitar pics. It was really cool. I realized I was still in my day clothes. I slid my shorts off and my shoes and snaked into his surprisingly comfortable bed. My head rested on his pillow and I could smell his cologne he had been wearing. It put me at ease. So I closed my eyes and drifted into a comfortable sleep.


	4. Lost

**PLEASE READ VERY IMPORTANT: YOU NEED TO READ IT ALL OR ELSE IT WILL NOT MAKE SENSE.**

I felt the summer air cascade against my cheek. I breathed in all I could savoring It's feel for a cold winter night. I looked over the cliff and saw the water crashing repeatedly against the rocks. It was breathtaking. I felt fingers intertwine with mine. I smiled to myself and looked up at him. He was smiling. He grabbed my other hand looked down at me with a storm dancing in his eyes. He gave me a slow,sweet and longing kiss, The exact opposite of what it usually was hard, heated and forced.

"Look!" Castiel said quietly when he pulled away. I turned in the direction he was pointing and felt his hand leave mine as soon as I had averted my gaze.

"What did you se-..." I said as I turned my head back to him. My thoughts and words stopped as I saw Castiel on one knee with a small box in his hands. His sea of black swayed in the wind as he looked at me hopefully.

"I never knew that once I saw you I would be here standi- nealing for your hand in marriage. If somebody were to tell me that back then I would have told them they were crazy." He said. I stood in front of him hands over my mouth wide-eyed.

"But we have been through thick and thin. I love you to death. I see that now we make a great us. I never knew I could love anybody ever again. When I saw you smile it brought the love out in the open again. Each and everyday I was getting more and more confused about what was happening. I thought I was crazy. I slowly fell for you. As did you. And I couldn't have been happier when You agreed to go out with me. But this is a much, much bigger commitment." He paused.

"Ashlyn, will you marry me?" Castiel asked.

"Yes! Yes I will marry you!" I said happily.

I jumped into his arms as he stood up and wrapped my legs around his torso and kissed him repeatedly while he laughed at how excited I was. He set me back down on the ground and slipped the cold ring around my small finger. It fit perfectly. And it was very beautiful. The band was studded with small diamonds and in the middle there were three larger square diamonds. The one in the middle was the biggest and the ones that sat next to it were slightly smaller. I gasped at how it captured the light. I gave castiel a long kiss. And then we hugged and stayed there for a while.

**LATER THAT NIGHT**

I saw the sun sink down below and under the horizon. The darkness fell upon us but we did not mind. I was tangled in his arms as we lay on the cold ground and gazed at the diamonds cascaded in the sky. My mind was fluttering with giddy thoughts one of the slightly nauseatingly-cute and annoying perks of being engaged. I heard his heartbeat slowing to match mine as we felt so comfortable with each other. I felt him kiss My forehead.

"I love you so much. You have made me the happiest man alive." Castiel whispered.

"I love you too Castiel. I have no clue where I'd be without you." I said to him.

I snuggled into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. Our breathing slowed and our eyes closed. Soon enough we fell asleep to the sound of our hearts, thoughts and the waves crashing against the cliff. I have never felt so at peace in my life. A perfect end to a perfect day.

_**And thats when I woke up.**_

I pushed myself up in _his _bed. One kiss, no nevermind an almost kiss and im having dreams about us getting married? This is crazy. I almost kissed him. I almost kissed castiel. I ran my hands through my hair, shocked, hurt and confused. My eyes wide and glassy from the tears about to appear. I got up, threw on my shorts and ran into the kitchen. There was a note on the counter.

_Go take a shower and take the clothes that are on the coffee table and meet me at the cafe a block away from where you work. -Castiel_

I walked to the coffee table and examined what he had. it was his shirt but it looked like he never wore it anymore because of how small it was. and black shorts, that looked like the ones I had on.

_Where did he get these shorts? _ I thought. They definitely aren't his. I shook the thoughts from my mind and walked to the bathroom with the clothes.

I walked into his nice shower and turned on the water making it blisteringly hot hoping that maybe it would wipe the crazy dream from my mind. The boiling hot water poured over me making room for at least _some _relief. I moved quickly assuming that castiel was not a very patient person. Once I was done I threw on the clothes and put my hair in a low ponytail. I threw on my converse and walked out the door with a fake smile plastered on my face.

**AT THE CAFE**

I walked into the sweet smelling cafe with the afternoon buzz of people. I walked over to where castiel was sitting. He didn't notice me sit down because he was doing something on his phone.

"Hey." I said quietly.

He looked up at me in shock as he held back profanity. I giggled.

"Scared?" I asked.

"You wish." He said as a smirk crept on his face.

"Whatever, anyway why did you want to meet here?" I asked confused.

"Can't I just be nice for once, and not make someone think I want something from them?" He asked jokingly.

"It's the way you appear." I said flatly.

"The way I appear? And what do I look like to you Huh?" Castiel asked slightly annoyed.

"To others you look like a bad boy with a bad reputation. To me you look like a broken boy." I said.

"Broken? Are you kidding me?" Castiel said angered.

"I can assure you I am not broken. You don't even know me and you already think you know me from the inside out!" Castiel said.

"Look I didn-" I tried to say.

"JUST STOP OKAY!" Castiel shouted making the whole cafe turn to look at me. Castiel stormed out of the cafe.

_the only reason why he got so mad like that was because he knows its true. _I thought.

It still hurt. A lot actually. Don't cry, Don't cry. You are better than that, He's not worth crying over. I slammed my hands on the table while I stood up.

"STOP STARING AT ME AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS" I shouted before I stormed out.

I ran and ran not caring where I went. My breathing and heartbeat picked up. It shouldn't hurt this much, but somehow it does. I stopped when I realized I didn't know where I was. Trees were surrounding me. I turned in a circle trying to see where there was a way out. But again I was surrounded and forgot what direction I had came. I slowly dropped on the ground and plopped onto my knees while holding my head in my hands.

"I barely even know him. Why does this make me so upset?" I said aloud to myself. I let the tears fall while I saw the sun sink low. It was getting late and I'm lost.

_Why do things keep getting worse and worse? I thought this change would do me good. And all I do is mess things up. How could I think I was ready for this? _I thought.


	5. Wishful Thinking

Just minutes after I had gotten lost I heard loud footsteps and branches crackling on the ground. I stood up and looked around.

"ASHLYN" I heard a loud and out-of-breath voice say.

"Hello?" I said weakly.

"ASHLYN IS THAT YOU?" He shouted again.

"Yes! Im over here!" I yelled back at him.

I heard more footsteps and turned to see who had found me. It was Castiel obviously, no one else in this town knew me.

"Why are you here?" I asked him as I recalled the rough words we exchanged.

"When I left I just went by the lake. I was pissed off. Then I saw you running into the woods and it was like my anger flowed away and I was filled with worry. So I followed you." Castiel admitted.

I felt heat rush to my cheeks and I knew I was blushing.

"Well whatever your reason was, all I know is that without you I would still be lost." I said.

"But It was my fault you ran off." Castiel said looking sorrowful.

"You don't look like the type to worry." I said.

"I don't worry usually. But I also hold grudges." Castiel said.

_Its almost like I break my rules for her._ Castiel thought.

"Oh. Well thank you, It seems as if you are the one that keeps saving me." I said shyly.

"I guess so." He said.

"I'm sorry." I blurted.

"Me too, I shouldn't have freaked out on you like that. Guess I really am hot-headed." He said chuckling and scratching the back of his neck.

"It's fine. Friends?" I said.

"Friends?" He asked confused.

"Acquaintances?" I asked while holding my hand out to him.

"Acquaintances." Castiel said while chuckling and shaking my hand.

We walked back to our apartments while I grabbed my new key at the front desk. Once we said Our goodbyes I rushed into my apartment and took a long hot shower hoping to forget everything that happened.

But it was also good in a way. I guess maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought.

yea maybe...

Once I exited from the shower I pulled on comfortable clothes and plopped onto my couch and turned on the tv. I must have been tired because my eyelids felt heavy. I decided to go to bed early because of my state. I walked into my bedroom and turned off the light. I sat down on my bed with thoughts fluttering my mind about work tomorrow.

Ugh. Work.

Hopefully Castiel would not bother me tomorrow because I needed to focus.

Once my head hit the pillow I was out cold with no chance of waking up anytime soon.

**THE NEXT DAY**

I walked outside of my apartment with my work uniform on. My feet dragged behind me as I knew work was going to be chaotic. I trudged through the parking lot and slid myself into my cold car. I sped off to my workplace to take my afternoon shift. Once I arrived, there was a sudden feel of relief. Like something had been held over me. I brushed the feeling off and walked to the register. I was still tired from the whole ordeal yesterday and my mind couldn't seem to get rid of Castiel. It was like his image was superglued to my brain. His amazing hair, His beautiful eyes and his dangerous smile. He was like something I could melt into. Everything he was I wanted. I had only met him a few days ago and he had already helped me on several occasions. He held a mask over him, like he doesn't want anyone to see the real him. I want to see him, the real him.

"Umm Hello? Ashlyn!" My manager said loudly. I snapped out of my daze and averted my attention to her.

"S-Sorry mam! It won't happen again." I said quickly.

"It better not, another slip like that and you're out of here! Quit daydreaming and get to work!" My manager said.

"Will do mam." I said quietly.

Castiel haunts me even when he's not around. He acted as if the almost-kiss never happened. The way he looked at me when he held me in his arms on the balcony was agonizing. I can't forget his smile and the way he smirks when he's being playful. I barely knew him. It almost like they way it was with Ryan.

Ryan, He had jet black hair and green eyes. He was very tall and had a muscular build like castiel. He arrived at the orphanage when I turned 16, he was 17 and a half. Both of his parents died in a car accident and none of his family members could take care of him. As soon as I saw him I fell in love with him. We talked and he was very nice and generous, but he could be snarky and humorous at times. We became quick best friends. I fell more in love with him everyday. After about a month after we became best friends I admitted my feelings to him. He looked surprised but that didn't stop him from saying he felt the same way. I was so exited and giddy that day when he asked me to be his girlfriend. We never fought, never had any problems except who was gonna sneak out that night to the others room to see each other. It was amazing. Until his 18th birthday.

When he turned 18, he was old enough to leave the orphanage. That day A black car pulled up with a girl in it. She got out and asked me where she could find Ryan. I asked her why and she stated that she was his girlfriend that came back to pick him up. The girl never told me her name but she had long brown hair and bright blue eyes and butterfly tattoos that I couldn't forget. When ryan found me talking to this girl he told me that he had never loved me and that he simply got bored and wanted something to toy with. He explained it to me as if a lion were to get hungry and stalk an ugly boar mope around, then going in for the kill. He was the lion and I was his ugly boar, his _prey. _Before I knew it he got into the car and sped off without so much as a goodbye. That whole time I trusted him and I had hope for us. I remember being so heartbroken. I didn't come out of my room for 3 days. All I remember was crying and grieving over my _fake_ first love.

I snapped out of my memories when I heard the bells on the stores door ring. Right. Work.

**A/N: Just a little bit of Ashlyns past for you! Please comment or critisize, I'd love to know what you think! **

**P.S. I do not own anything except my OC Ashlyn and Ryan The rest belongs to MCL.**

**Anyway, Thanks for reading. The next chapter will be up soon!**


	6. Psh What? No way

**ONE MONTH LATER**

I guess when you meet someone you love you know it's them. Like in the back of your mind you just know. That's what it was like with Castiel I just knew I loved him. It was always hard to admit it. But he was perfect. He is best when he lets his guard down. Which I have only seen happen a few times. But we have become best friends and I've met his other friends. They don't seem as close to him as Lysander and I are though. How do I even describe castiel? He's everything. He's sweet but he's also hot headed. He's makes me feel safe but he can be dangerous. He's gorgeous but he can be ugly. There wasn't a definition for him. It was killing me to figure him out. I was always waiting for someone to bring him up so I could talk about him out loud. And when I wasn't talking about him, I was thinking about him. I had fallen head over heels for this boy. Thinking about him had even got me fired from my own job.

"Ashlyn? Ashlyn are you listening?" Lysander said staring at me.

"Ummm no not really what did you say?" I asked confused.

"I asked if you were in love with Castiel." Lysander said.

"Wha? No! That's crazy.." I started rambling under my breath

"I was just kidding... Unless... You really are in love with him?" Lysander said surprised.

"Lysander I'm trusting you. He's the first boy I've fallen for in a long while." I stated.

"I think he feels the same. By the way he acts now. He used to be different until you came. He's changed. He smiles more, he laughs more. I think he just doesn't know it yet." Lysander explained.

"There's no way Castiel could have feelings for me. It's just unnatural for Castiel to feel anything." I stated

"That's only half true." Lysander said with a smile on his lips. I grabbed my guitar from the ground and plucked the strings out of boredom.

"I'm calling alexy and Rosalya. They are going to win you a boy. And they are doing it weather you like it or not." Lysander said chucking and pulled out his phone.

With a sigh of defeat knowing I could not get out of this I plopped on my back and guitar laying on the floor.

**AN HOUR LATER**

"OH MY GOD! SHUTUP! I knew you liked him!" Rosa shouted.

"We're going to make him fall in love with you." Alexy said excitedly

"I don't see why this is such a big deal he's never going to fall for it." I said tiredly

"You'll see..." Rosa and alexy said together with grins.

"First step in our plan is to get him to notice you. Not that he already does but he needs to notice you in a way that makes him feel different about you." Rosa explained.

"You dress just like him however it needs to be more... Well feminine." Alexy said.

"Are you saying I dress like a boy?" I asked jokingly

"You know what I mean ash!" Alexy said.

"Yea, yea whatever anyway can we get this over with?" I said

"Follow me!" Rosa said excitedly as we walked into the mall.

I didn't know what to expect. We went in to plenty of stores trying on all kinds of clothes. Buying so many things that I lost count. We bought all types of clothes, shoes, accessories, underwear and things that I don't know of. But they all were my style. They were... Perfect. Once we got to the salon I freaked. I did NOT agree to this. They forced me into the chair and told me to behave. I was scared and frightened by what they were going to do to me. When she started cutting my hair I flinched every time I heard the scissors clip. I felt my hair wet and saw that she was putting gooey white stuff in my hair with tin foil. Once I waited for the gooey stuff to settle in she washed my hair and blow dryed it. I closed my eyes in front of the mirror. Rosa shouted at me so I caught a glance at my hair. It settled at about my mid-back, it had almost white highligts and looked good with my blonde hair. My hair was layered with feathered ends and I had a comb over. It looked actually really really pretty. I looked like me, just polished.

By the time I got home rosa threw out ALL literally ALL of my clothes and filled my closet with a whole new wardrobe. I had more than I had before. I'm glad I had a huge walk in closet or else I wouldn't have been able to fit everything. Rosa was ecstatic. And I had to admit I was a little excited myself. School was two days away and I was going in a whole new light. Rosa made me swear not to see Castiel until school starts. I knew it would be hard not to see him but I could deal. When rosa and alexy finally left I took a hot shower with my new shower products and put on silky pajamas. It was a black silk nightgown with red lace. It was beautiful. I put my hair in a low ponytail and was out like a light.

**THE NEXT DAY**

I awoke to the feel of the silk rubbing against my skin. It was a new feeling but it was pleasant. I pulled myself off my bed and walked to my closet. I pulled out a black skater skirt and a tight white shirt with red roses on it. I tucked my shirt into the skirt and pulled on black flats with red detail. It was surprisingly 60 degrees outside so I decided to put on my mid-length black leather jacket. I walked into my bathroom and brushed out my hair glad that it looked just the same as it had yesterday after my haircut. I put on a bit of makeup that rosa had given me and was on my way to the pet-adoption center. I had planned doing this with Castiel because he knew more about this than me but I promised rosa so I went alone. When I arrived at the adoption center a short lady approached me with a warm smile and asked me if I was buying. I assured her that I was and she asked the the question I was contemplation all morning.

"Now, cat or dog?" She asked.

"May I look at both? I'm still undecided which I want." I stated.

"Of course of course! Which would you like to look at first?" She asked.

"Umm the dogs please?" I said.

"Right this way!" The woman said happily. I followed her into a long hallway. Filled with cages. It hurt me to realize that I couldn't take every single one home with me but I pushed that thought aside and finally looked at the beautiful dogs. Most of them were barking but some were very shy and huddling in corners. I decided that I would go look at the kittens and come back to the dogs if I couldn't find anyone. I walked into the slightly shorter hallway. I turned to my right there was a tiny black cat with bright blue eyes. It was sitting in the middle looking curiously at me with its head tilted. It's tail was waving behind it. I asked a worker if I could play with it and they informed me it was a she. I followed the worker with the cat in her hands into the small room with cat toys. I sat down with the little black cat and took out some toys. She played non-stop for about thirty minutes she kept stealing the toys from me and at one point she even took my keys! You could tell she was getting tired she walked over to me and curled up in my lap while purring. I think she had fallen asleep.

"I want her." I stated simply.

"Are you sure she is the one you want?" She asked me.

"Of course." I said flatly

I had to do some minor paperwork and buy some supplies but other than that It was a done deal. I walked through my apartment door happy as ever. I set my kitten down and watched her explore. My phone rang signaling me it was castiel.

"Whats up?" I asked.

"I'm bored, amuse me." He said.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"You heard me." I could practically hear him smirking.

"Whatever." I said

"I'm joking, Anyway you should come over. Don't you wanna work on the song that we wrote?" He asked.

"I would love to but-" I tried to say.

"But what?" Castiel interrupted.

"Look, I just cant today okay? Ill see you on monday." I hung up before he could respond.

I felt a frown plague my face. Avoiding castiel is harder than I thought. I plopped down on the couch with a million things running through my mind. school starts tomorrow. Avoiding castiel. New clothes. My baby. Tomorrow is going to be great.

**LATER THAT NIGHT**

The day went by slow. I played with my kitty that I had not named yet. And I watched tv. Then I made dinner. Nothing special. I was tired though. My baby took lots of energy out of me. Sometimes I think I bought a dog inside a cats body. I took a long shower. Once I was done I put on comfy pajamas and slipped into my very comfy bed. I heard high pitched meowing. A noise that I was not quite used to yet. I saw a black shadow jump onto my bed and snuggle up to me. I stroked her soft fur and fell asleep with her.


	7. Confessions And A Picture

I woke up with an off feeling settling in my stomach. That's when I remembered it was the first day of school. I inwardly groaned and sat up from my semi-large bed. I dragged my feet across the carpet slowly. When I reached the bathroom I slipped of my pajamas and hopped into the shower sensitive to the warm touch it gave. Once I was done I stepped out of the shower and walked into my closet to pick out my outfit. Since the temperature had gone up I decided to wear black, high waist shorts with some small silver studs and a red winged skulls t-shirt tucked carefully into my shorts. I threw on my converse and took out a thick black bracelet and small black studs for earrings. I walked back into my bathroom and dried my blonde hair and applied very little makeup considering how much I hated it. Once I was done I grabbed my backpack and a pop-tart on the way out. I crouched into my car and was off to a new high school.

Once I arrived into the parking lot of a very large high school I received a text from rosa.

'Knock him dead ash!' Rosa texted.

'You know I will' I replied smugly.

I walked up the stairs into one of the many doors in the front. I walked straight into a wooden door that read 'front office' I was glad it was right by the entrance. I walked up to the receptionist and explained that I was new, she gave me a large smile and lead me to the principal. I walked into a good sized office and saw a short woman beaming up at me. She was wearing a pink business suit and a grey bun at the top of her head. She gave me a small smile and told me to go to the student council room and look for a guy named Nathaniel. I had heard castiel talk about him a few times and not in the good way. I nodded to her and left to find my destination. After about 20 minutes of hopeless searching I ran into Lysander

"Are you lost?" Lysander asked thoughtfully.

"How'd you know?" I asked.

"The hopeless look on your face." He said while releasing a warm chuckle.

"Well you guessed right, where can I find the student council room?" I asked quietly.

"Down this hall take a left then second door on the right." He said sweetly. I waved him goodbye and was on my way.

I walked the path Lysander had given me and eventually found a small door. I carefully opened it hoping not to be loud. When I saw what was inside I'm glad I was quiet. I saw a blonde boy that was completely passed out on the desk. He had golden blonde hair the light illuminated off of him. It was the first day of school and he was already tired. I lightly tapped his shoulder. He jolted awake which startled me. His face flushed a deep red and for a moment I felt sorry for him. He looked tired.

"Mam! I'm so sorry!" He sputtered out as he stood up.

"You don't have to apologize for sleeping." I said while giggling quietly.

"Yes I do it's Against the rules." He said flatly

"Oh. Well then, next time don't fall asleep!" I fake scolded him. He gave me a smooth laugh.

"Got it. Anyway, are you the new student?" He asked sweetly.

"That's me." I said.

"Okay well I took out your file this morning to look it over. And I noticed there weren't any signature for your parents?" He asked.

"That is the only thing that was missing." He added.

"I'm an orphan." I reminded myself sadly.

"I'll sign it. I'm legally independent, I turned 18 about a month ago." I said trying to cover up my weak response.

"Oh I'm sorry, I had no idea." He mustered out.

For the first time I noticed what he really looked like. He had golden blonde hair and warm caramel colored eyes with a bright smile. He wore a white collared button up shirt with a sky blue tie and khaki pants. Even though he dressed like the mayor he was absolutely gorgeous. I guess he must have noticed I was staring because he looked at me a little confused.

"Umm.." He said.

"Oh right! It's fine, you didn't know." I said while taking the paper and signing it.

"Well your registration is finished but you do need to join a club. And there is only 3 clubs left with only 3 spots left in each." He stated.

"Okay what are the clubs?" I asked.

"Gardening, basketball and music." He said happily.

Well I suck with plants. I'm good at basketball but it's not my favorite. Music...

"Umm I think I'll join the music club." I said quietly.

"Great! Okay here is your schedule. Would you like for me to give you a tour of the school?" He asked me sweetly while handing me a paper.

"Thank you but I can't. I don't want to be a bother." I said

"It's really no trouble." He said.

"No really it's fine." I said.

"Are you sure?" He asked me. Then I realized why he wanted to give me a tour so bad.

"If you wanted me to give you a reason to get you out of doing paperwork then you should have just asked." I said while giggling. Nathaniel blushed a deep red.

"Come on, I'll give you a distraction." I added.

"If I may ask, how did you know?" Nathaniel asked.

"The pleading look in your eyes." I said laughing.

"Oh." Was all he said until he walked over to me.

"Let's get going then!" Nathaniel added.

"I'll follow you." I said.

We walked out the door while he happily opened the door for me. He showed me around telling me stories about the school and what it was like. All in all, I was really looking forward to being here. I heard a loud almost scary voice call out my name.

"Ashlyn!" I turned around to see castiel glaring daggers at the boy next to me.

"What's wrong?" I asked him hesitantly.

"Why are you hanging with him." He said the last word with venom.

"He offered to give me a tour of the school." I said backing away from him.

"And you said yes? You idiot!" He exclaimed.

"The only idiot here is you castiel." I looked at Nathaniel in surprise.

"Just what makes you think you can talk to me like that?" He said so coldly.

"The answer is simple really, you are a delinquent." Nathaniel seemed unaffected by castiels unearthly stare. He was definitely not the boy I was talking to just minutes ago.

"Why do you think you are better than anyone else?" Castiel said darkly.

"I don't but I am better than you." Nathaniel said inching closer to castiel as if to challenge.

"Your going to regret that." Castiel said.

Castiel grabbed his collar and slammed him up against the lockers. But Nathaniel was quick to push him back. Castiel looked surprised but held up a fist to hit him. His fist collided with Nathaniel's face. He gave a small grunt of pain but raised his fist to punch castiel. I could not let them keep fighting. What was I supposed to do? I ran in between them and caught Nathaniel's fist with my hand and threw it down. They both looked very surprised that I had the strength to do this.

"Are you okay ash?" Castiel said quietly while turning me around. I looked into his eyes they flickered between concern and anger. All of a sudden I melted. I wasn't mad at him anymore. The words he said were out of anger. His eyes burned but the feeling was impeccable. I felt dizzy. I fell into him. His strong arms wrapped around me. And I could hear his heartbeat in his chest. It was rapid.

"I'm so sorry." I said while quickly pulling away.

"Are you okay?" Castiel asked again.

"Yes I'm fine." I said sternly. I whipped around and turned the opposite direction away from them. I near sprinted into the girls bathroom.

_how does he do that? He holds such a strong power over me. Its like he knows but at the same time he doesn't. _I thought.

I heard loud knocking on the door.

"Ashlyn! Ashlyn, Please!" His vulnerable voice made me melt. I walked over to the door and slowly pulled it open. I saw his face, it was a mix of panic and confusion. he whisked pass me and shut the door.

"Are you okay? Be honest with me." He said smoothly.

"Im fine okay? Why do you care?" I asked.

"Because your my best friend ashlyn." Castiel said

"Exactly." I said under my breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Castiel asked annoyed.

"Are you really that dense? I thought it was obvious!" I near-shouted at him.

"So you think I'm a delinquent too?" Castiel said.

"You know thats not what I meant." I said sharply.

"Spell it out for me if im such an idiot." He spat.

"You know very well I don't think you are an idiot." I said

"Whatever." He said. he turned on his heel and almost walked out, well until I grabbed his arm.

"What are you doing?" He asked coldly.

"Castiel I-" I tried to say.

"You what?" He interrupted.

"Castiel, I think I'm in love with you." I said. His eyes softened greatly and warmed me. And all of a sudden I felt coolness on my back It took me a second to register what was happening. I was up against the wall and castiel was kissing me

_castiel is kissing me..._

This felt absolutely amazing. I felt a fire ignite inside me and my adrenaline was rushing. It felt like forever. His lips danced on mine in a way that I could not explain. I felt his warm breath tickle my face as he breathed. And I could hear his racing heartbeat matching mine. Everything was great until...

*Snap*

_that sounded like a phone camera, Oh shit!_


End file.
